Why I'm doing Sucktoberfest.

The internet is still cutting out on my computer.  I'll have it for a few days, and then Firefox just won't load any webpages.  It sucks.  I don't know if it's the internet provider fucking with me, or if my wireless dongle is a piece of crap (I know the computer is a piece of crap).  Anyway, I'm using my wife's laptop when this happens, as it happens often.  Personally, I don't like using her laptop.  The keyboard is flat and I'm used to the natural incline of a regular keyboard, so typing on this thing is awkward, at best.

Well, enough bitching about that.  I wanted to talk about October.  You see, I love October.  It's a great month.  First off, I love autumn and, in Missouri, October is when the season is in full force.  Second, Halloween has always been a favorite of mine.  It's kind of the dark horse of holidays.  Sure, there are less celebrated holidays, but they all suck.  The mystique of Halloween is that, out of all the "pagan" holidays, Samhain (which I think is pronounced like "sow-en" or something like that) is the only one that hasn't been "purified" by the overlapping of Christian holy days.  It does have a holy day attached to it - All Saints Day - but it's overshadowed by All Hallows Eve the night before.  The stigma of its so-called blasphemous origins has pervaded Halloween so much that some Christians still refuse to celebrate it.

Also, Halloween is the best time to score some candy.  I can't go through a single October without getting, at least, one bag of candy corn.  To me, that honeyed confection is the first sign of autumn.  I'm not gonna lie, it also doesn't hurt to dress up as a barbarian warrior, a Jedi, or a pulp-era science hero (complete with laser gun) once a year.  If I were to do that any other day, people would just look at me as if I was bizarre (at least, more than they usually do).

This year, though, I'm not feeling it - that sense of enjoyment about the month.  I'm usually in a mood to write a story, or go outside and look at the beautiful colors the leaves turn.  But not now.  Perhaps it's just me.  I have been feeling pretty miserable all year - unemployment will do that to you.  You would think that leaving a soul crushing job that drove you to the edge of sanity and dumped you off the precipice would be good for me, but the damage has already been done.  I'm not suffering about it, anymore, but that doesn't make me feel much better.

Though I can't seem to enjoy the things I love, as much, I still find myself hating all the things that piss me off.  That's why I focused on all the things that suck on Halloween.  I'm not going to talk about them, now - I'll save that for next week.  I guess it felt natural to list all the bullshit of the holiday on The Ablogcalypse.  Hatred seems to be something that the Kaiser excels at, with gusto.

Is it dysfunctional that the thing I feel most passionate about is hate?

That was a rhetorical question.

Anyway, I decided to kind of supplement the righteous fury of Kaiser's Sucktoberfest with a viewpoint that's not as, I don't know... ball-busting pissed off?  Mostly, I think I'm doing this so I don't get overly cranky about the holiday.  I don't think people would like me being a belligerent asshole at their Halloween party, so I'd like to keep that in check.  Who knows, maybe I'll reminisce about Halloweens of old, or things that try to rekindle that feeling I once had.

Though I will say that my feelings (or lack, thereof) for Halloween are not entirely my fault.  The things on the list really do suck, so they're just as much to blame for my apathy.

Man, I can't wait to tear into this bullshit.